Atomic Habits: Tiny Improvements That Lead to Big Sustained Change (Part 1 of 2)

Jennifer Rackow (for personal or business transformation consulting):

jennifer@jenergyinternational.com

http://linkedin.com/in/jennifer-rackow


Atomic Habits (link to book cover): https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Build-Break/dp/0735211299/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.iK33XS_fMSvBGfTjIj1wNpQPRVtHxsKrw-yLtoDgpWNL4YvWTLr1WxR6VKUFjIrSkbvyHNFpTPZVPzFhf3zJa47HBqRaR8ZwUoSKzLxdSmIM8hUwxkLzZckqD8Wr9V8zoYLlfEkjr5zTljlJJZz7Q2Nqg8_kmOGY-tjrX5qpK9YsbOMJB_vhXmez6H0y-dl2hxwDElWg1MLM7CN_WPkEr23sUDjIvGvDqbHtoY-XH0w.mo0YpoVNY79-2_sK4nI8C8_aitlkIaS4pqwBKeL4EA8&dib_tag=se&hvadid=602222146494&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9007571&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=3937208469406863396&hvtargid=kwd-1668531942405&hydadcr=22533_10353822&keywords=atomic+habits%27&qid=1736389984&sr=8-1

Embracing Incremental Change and the Power of Laughter

In this episode, hosts Jen and Tava explore the concept of making small, incremental changes for long-term transformation. They discuss insights from James Clear's 'Atomic Habits,' emphasizing the power of improving by just 1% each day. Tava shares her personal struggles with sustaining positive habits, while Jen talks about the healing benefits of laughter and how it helped her cope with a challenging holiday season marked by a COVID-19 scare. The hosts also delve into the importance of focusing on systems rather than specific goals, and the value of staying open to unexpected outcomes. They reflect on the broader spiritual and energetic implications of these ideas, offering practical advice for listeners looking to make sustainable changes in their lives.

00:00 New Year Greetings and Reflections

01:14 Healing Through Sound and Meditation

06:25 Angelic Messages and Spiritual Insights

09:25 The Power of Laughter and Energy Management

11:53 Rediscovering Joy and Creativity

13:48 Sustainable Habits and Personal Growth

21:51 The Concept of Incremental Improvements

33:28 The Importance of Systems Over Goals

41:33 Embracing Flexibility and Open-Mindedness

Thank you joining us today, remember to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to keep up to date with your tribe.

Connect with your Hosts!

Tava Baird: tavabaird.com or https://darkflowerbooks.etsy.com.

Jennifer Taylor: Willow Ridge Reiki and Healing Arts https://www.willowridgereiki.com/

Transcript

[00:00:00] 

Tava Baird: 

Tava Baird: Well, good 

Jennifer Taylor: morning and Happy New Year, Jente.

Jennifer Taylor: Good morning. Happy New Year to you. Yeah, I realize, for us, we're recording this right after the New Year. For others, they probably aren't, it's not likely to get up for a couple more weeks. So, everyone else, you're probably already into your New Year for a few weeks. And hope everything is going well.

Tava Baird: Happy middle of January for the rest of you. or if you are new to the podcast, happy eight months from now. 

Jennifer Taylor: Happy whenever this is for you. 

Tava Baird: I hope everybody is enjoying this. The start of winter now that the solstice has passed us. And, as always, we love to get ourselves into a good, open, receptive, meditative head space where Our guides can come through and help direct the [00:01:00] conversation and hopefully we can be of better service to all of you who are listening.

Tava Baird: So, Jen, would you mind? I'm so excited to get to hear you sing. It's been a couple of weeks. would you mind, opening this up for us. 

Jennifer Taylor: Oh, of course. So, the holidays have been a little challenging. And so I have really fallen back into really heavily utilizing, the Himalayan bowls that I have, actually, these are specifically Nepalese,bowls and playing the two of them together and sounding and,I've really been reminded how much healing and shifting it brings through for me.

Jennifer Taylor: And so I set those up today to, accompany me and support me in bringing through, a really good healing space for everybody today. So the, song at the beginning will have a little extra accompaniment this [00:02:00] morning,

Jennifer Taylor: [00:03:00] Can

[00:04:00] [00:05:00] [00:06:00] 

Tava Baird: that was freaking gorgeous........................... 

Tava Baird: I could just listen to that on repeat all day. I feel like my soul is settling down. 

Jennifer Taylor: I'm so glad it was good for me. Oh, 

Tava Baird: that was incredible.

Tava Baird: So I had a seraphim holding forth as you were singing, and he was not talking to me. He was talking to our listeners, and a lot of times he says things to you, or he says things to me, but this appeared to be something for everyone listening.

Tava Baird: he says, Greetings to you. Greetings to you. The angels rejoice in the steps you will take ahead.

Tava Baird: Your ancestors dance. It is time. It is [00:07:00] time. Shake off the chains made of things you were told you must be. Lay down your burdens in the name of your truth. The Temple is and has been offered to you. Find the courage to walk among its trees, its falling water, its wind and rain. Raise your voice, beat your drum.

Tava Baird: Together, we will rebel and find healing in the face of those who would hinder us. For you are holy, holy, holy. You are made divine. I am your messenger, and I say this unto you, to laugh in the face of unchanging power is to become truely free. Wow. He is very spirited today. And I found it interesting [00:08:00] when someone says a temple is open, I picture a building, but his description, it appears that the temple is out in nature, walk among its trees, its falling water, its wind and rain.

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah, I, that struck me as well. I was thinking, yeah, I was like, temple and I started picturing this temple. And then I thought, well, of course, the most true temple would be one that is, made entirely of, the divine materials, it would be in the wild, not, something that, that man has necessarily created.

Tava Baird: Yeah, that was the most chatty he's been in quite some time. I have been encouraged to rest and turn inward and I have spent a couple of weeks doing that and boy, has it given me my groove back, just to have some days where I get up and go. There [00:09:00] is absolutely nothing that has to happen today other than I need to get good rest, I need to get good food in my body, and I need to locate some laughter.

Tava Baird: So I've been just writing, I mean yesterday I think I must have written for like four or five hours straight with no break. it's been good. 

Jennifer Taylor: I love that you mentioned laughter as well, because that is another thing that I've kind of rediscovered during this extremely challenging holiday period.

Jennifer Taylor: Is laughter like and it's funny because you're part of the challenge or it's been that COVID came into our house on Christmas Day, and I guess it had been here and being spread. But on Christmas Day, our guests tested and we realized that we were all exposed to COVID.

Jennifer Taylor: so I've been really paying attention tohow to keep my energy high, how [00:10:00] to keep my system going. And it's been really amazing in that I would recognize, okay, I've been super hypervigilant about my, what state is my energy in and because of a whole lot of additional challenges,it's been harder to keep it up and one of the things I would realize, I would start getting like the tiniest bit of symptoms, like I'd get a little bit of, drainage in my throat and my nose would start to run a little bit and I would think I have to do something right this minute, like I need to catch it immediately.

Jennifer Taylor: And we went and found this comedian and we're listening to this stand up comedian and laughed for like an hour and a half. At the end of that time, all the symptoms were gone. And it has been crazy. I've been watching my body go from, oh, I feel like it's starting to set in, to completely gone again and have maintained complete health this entire time.

Jennifer Taylor: And [00:11:00] now I think we're what, like, eight, day, eight or nine days past the exposure. So, I feel like we're going to be good. But it's been really amazing, or I would dance and go, okay, I would feel it and think, no, I have to let all of this stuff go. I'm going to let go of all the feelings.

Jennifer Taylor: I'm going to process all the feelings. I'm going to let it all go and I'm going to get back in the flow. I'm And at the end of the dance, sometimes I only manage five minutes, but I thought, you know what? I can still dance for five minutes and it will make a difference. And every time, not only did I just generally feel like a different person at the end of it, my body would respond and go, Oh, okay.

Jennifer Taylor: So I don't think we need to go down with this. I think we're all right. It has been just wild. So when you said laughter, I was like, Oh my gosh, laughter. Like I've rediscovered the, uh, the healing. on all levels that comes from laughter. 

Tava Baird: I didn't realize because I had really run myself down during spooky season and then I went right into all these holiday [00:12:00] markets.

Tava Baird: And I would put out a lot of energy at these things, setting up, taking down, and then talking to everybody when I was at them. And, uh, A lot of times I would come home and my brain thought, okay, you need to eat food. You need to get some sleep. But I would forget that I also needed to enjoy myself in order to heal.

Tava Baird: And so, as I've been writing over these last days, you know, for those of you who haven't read any of the fiction that I write, a lot of these, A lot of the characters are in the middle of a war or there's, you know, there's some heavy stuff going down. And so I try to put right spots in their relationships and conversations.

Tava Baird: Just so when you're reading, you're not like, okay, this is so emotionally heavy that I can't, I can't keep going. That there'll be these little moments of comedy or little moments Of light. And so when I'm writing, I'm always on the lookout [00:13:00] for what is a funny or sweet twist to add in.

Tava Baird: I think because of my background in theater, I often really inhabit the emotional headspace of a character that I'm writing. In order to make their conversations convincing, it's basically just like improvisation on paper. And so, if the characters are going through something tragic, I'm sitting there crying my eyes out.

Tava Baird: And if they are having a great time, then I'm laughing. And I, I started realizing how much more laughter I needed to put into the writing. And so it was forcing me to go and look for things that I found funny or that I found amusing, as seeds to get this going. I've just been doing a lot more laughing lately and I feel fantastic, you know, so.

Jennifer Taylor: That's fantastic. Fantastic. And I love, I know it sounds like you've discovered a lot of new, habit sorts of things that you were going to share with us today too, which I'm really excited to hear about. [00:14:00] 

Tava Baird: So a little bit of backstory on this. I am, I am what my husband calls a sprinter. Okay. If there is a choice in our house between Consistently loading the dishwasher every day, or taking on the project of painting a room entirely.

Tava Baird: I will Always pick the room. I get bored very easily. I always want to try new things, often to the detriment of the routines that I need to keep my life stable and moving forward. you know, loading the dishwasher is boring. Of course it is. You've done it a million times. And so I want to do this big heavy goal oriented lift that only has to be done once.

Tava Baird: And when I'm done, the living room will look fantastic, but we have no clean dishes or frying pans. So. I am that [00:15:00] sprinter and it transfers into daily life habits as well where my body is concerned and where my self care is concerned where I will declare I am going to get on the treadmill every single day and I'm going to do a couple of miles and he says slow down.

Tava Baird: You want to make this sustainable. Why don't you do a quarter of that mileage and do it three days a week to start instead of Going in blazing and then flaming out spectacularly in 10 days and then you're right back to not exercising and I never Follow his advice ever That's just not how I've always been and then I get really frustrated with myself because January 1st rolls around and everyone's making New Year's resolutions And I have [00:16:00] all these huge goals, you know, this is the year I'm finally not going to murder my house plants from neglect.

Tava Baird: This is the year that I am going to cut out all sugar and eat nothing but fiber and protein. This is the year that my kitchen will be spotless every night. and then there's, the, this is the year that I'm going to lose weight. Okay, all of these things. And then every year I I'm disappointed by the end of January, and I feel terrible about myself because once more I have failed.

Tava Baird: So I was on the phone with a friend of mine, and she listens to the podcast, so I am totally going to give her a shout out here. Her name is Jennifer Rakow. She has been a dear friend of mine for a very long time, and she is one of these people who seems to be able to sustain good habits, effortlessly.

Tava Baird: For years, [00:17:00] Jen and I went to college together and I think she's like a year and a half younger than I am right now. She's listening to the podcast and shouting at me. How come you can never remember this? I think she's like a year younger than I am. But if you looked at us standing side by side, I look like I'm 10 years older than I am.

Tava Baird: And she looks like she graduated college four years ago because she takes care of herself. She walks. every single day. When we go out to lunch, she is the quinoa and spinach bowl person at the table, whereas I am the, I have extra cheese on that burger, please. She has an extremely busy life and also finds time to volunteer and seems to have boundless energy.

Tava Baird: And I just, I can't fathom, how do you pull that off? How are you, how can you sustain that [00:18:00] over years and years? And side note, Jen actually coaches both individuals and organizations in looking at how they're set up and structured and where they want to be, go next. And so she is an incredible person to seek advice from in this area. 

Jennifer Taylor: Yes, I'm so glad that you said that she is amazing. I have to say she did a consultation for me for my business And I was completely blown away by practically everything that she said because I went into it thinking, Oh, I know she's going to tell me I have to do this and this and this.

Jennifer Taylor: And they're all things that I don't want to do. And it was a totally different way of looking at everything and really changed my perspective and the way that I looked at growing my business and the, techniques and the avenues for it. It was so different than anything else I had read or heard or been told.

Jennifer Taylor: 

Tava Baird: And [00:19:00] I'll put information on how to contact her in our show notes section. So if you are wanting to turn over a new leaf this year or your organization wants to get some professional development hours in, I highly recommend her. I have sought her out so many times, both personally and professionally. 

Tava Baird: You said that so professionally. It sounds like we're now, like, getting sponsors or something. Like, we're now doing ads for people. but I swear we're not. although, wow, how cool would it be if we were so big that we actually had Like sponsors and stuff, but, I'm so glad that you thought about that and that you can share her information because she is a really awesome resource. So I happened to be on the phone with her the other day. And I said, here comes the new year and she said, yes, and I said, once again, I am going to try to start eight new habits and I am probably going to fail miserably by January. And I [00:20:00] said, I have to tell you, I really admire you. I don't know how you are so consistent.

Tava Baird: that, like you decide something is going to change and then you pull it off. And she said, that it's a gift of hers, but she also has tons and tons of resources because this is also her business. And I said, you know, I'm a sprinter. I only go about 50 meters and then I'm done. And I said, I wish I could do what you do.

Tava Baird: Um, and she said, well, there's this book you might want to take a look at. And she said it was recommended to me. And when I read it, I went, Oh, of course, of course, of course, I do all that stuff. But it sounds like maybe you don't do all of that stuff. And I said, give me the title. It will be downloaded as soon as this conversation is over.

Tava Baird: So it is called Atomic Habits [00:21:00] There is more than one Atomic Habits if you go look up the book online, and so I want to tell you the one that I'm reading is the James Clear one. And I popped it open and started going through it, and I'm only a few chapters in, I swear to you this is not going to be a book review or a full on book report.

Tava Baird: you guys can keep going if you like the ideas that we're going to put forth here. the first couple of chapters just rocked my world. And I realized that it wasn't that I couldn't pull off change. It was that I was thinking about the process 100 percent backwards. And that that was why I was failing.

Tava Baird: And so there are three topics that come up. early on in the book, and then he spends a lot of the rest of the book telling you he goes into depth about how to address these things. But [00:22:00] I wanted to bring them up on the podcast today, both to sort of see Jen what you thought of them, and to talk about the deeper spiritual aspects of them.

Tava Baird: And also because I thought they might be really intriguing to people out there. who Do the same thing that I do every year and go, I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to lose 40 pounds, you know, all of these things. But in their heart, they're feeling, Oh God, why bother? Right. I keep trying and I keep not being happy with my results.

Tava Baird: So there are three things I want to talk about today. Increments, not having any goals, which I know is going to, I think, Jen, you're going to love this idea and the concept of identity. So everybody got their seatbelts on? Yeah, I am ready. I'm 

Jennifer Taylor: excited. So here 

Tava Baird: we go. So he, one of the stories, and he's got great stories in this book, but one of the first [00:23:00] stories that he tells is about the British cycling team.

Tava Baird: Now I do not have a good head for details, so if you guys get this book and read it after me and go. Oh my God, Tavi, you told the whole story wrong. Just keep in mind, it's the general, you'll get the idea, right? But don't hold me to my details. Okay. Uh, what he did was he talked about the British cycling team and the British cycling team was terrible.

Tava Baird: I mean, terrible. They had never won a tour de France in like 150 years. They had gone to the Olympics, and they had won one, medal or something in all like in the last 40, 50 years, and everyone else in Europe was just zooming past them. They were so bad. that there was a biking and equipment manufacturer in Europe who refused to sell them bicycles because they didn't want to be associated with them [00:24:00] because of how bad their record was.

Tava Baird: That's 

Tava Baird: terrible. Okay. And I think this is, I think this was maybe about 15 years ago or something. Again, don't hold me to the exact number. So the British cycling team was the laughingstock of, of cycling. And they decided to bring in this guy who is a specialist in incremental improvements. So his idea was this.

Tava Baird: We always have this idea that we need to suddenly transform, you know, today is the day I eliminate this thing from my life. And in some cases, like, if you're quitting smoking, there are people where you just need to go cold turkey. So that may be slightly different, depending on you and your personality.

Tava Baird: Think about it in terms of, say, like, Weight loss or having a clean house rather than make a huge sweeping change, which is [00:25:00] very, very difficult to pull off and very difficult to maintain and you're exhausted once you do it. He said, if you can change and make yourself 1 percent better every day over time, that 1 percent is going to compound itself.

Tava Baird: if I have a hundred visits to my website, one percent of a hundred is one. So imagine I wanted to get one percent more visits to my website every week. then I have a hundred and one, then I have a hundred and two. By the time I hit the number 500, Now 1 percent is 5, right?

Tava Baird: It's getting better. If you think about it in terms of your body, if I can make each of my fingers 1 percent more effective, That's 10%. So these things compound and so he went into the organization and he got hold of everyone and he said, We're going to figure out how to be [00:26:00] 1 percent better every day.

Tava Baird: And everybody said, Dude, how's that going to make us win a gold medal? And he said, Trust me on this. You got nothing to lose at this point, okay? And so they started, they made a list of improvements, no matter how silly they sounded. They repainted the inside of the trailer so that they could better see dust on their bicycles.

Tava Baird: They tested outdoor cycling equipment with indoor cycling, like with clothing to see which one was more wind resistant. They, brought in a surgeon to teach cyclists how to properly wash their hands so they wouldn't get sick as often. All of these tiny little things that don't seem to have a lot to do with cycling.

Tava Baird: Within a few years they went back to the Olympics and they swept 60 percent of the cycling medals. They went and for the next six Cours de France, the British team won five of them. They started [00:27:00] breaking world records and it was these tiny, tiny changes, tiny changes let you see immediate results, right?

Tava Baird: not only is the change helping you and compounding, it's building your confidence and your positivity. That things can change. He says, now you have to have patience to work like this because there are certain, it's hard to see the change when you, they showed up at the Olympics.

Tava Baird: Everybody thought they were an overnight success. There was nothing overnight about it. They'd been doing 1 percent better day for years. And he told this and had this other analogy. He said, if you sit in a very cold room with an ice cube, you watch it. And say it's 25 degrees in the room. The ice doesn't melt at 25 degrees.

Tava Baird: You raise it another degree. It doesn't melt at 26. It doesn't melt at [00:28:00] 27. It doesn't start to melt. And then suddenly, at about 32 degrees, There's a change you can see. He said what happens a lot of times to us is we go, I'm going to go to the gym for a week and we go and we work really hard and we tear a muscle and we blow out our knee and then we don't see any change in a week and we go, that's it, I'm done.

Tava Baird: He said that's not how change works. You have to say, I'm going to go, I'm going to get my butt in the door and I'm going to do a little bit better every day. So, I started deciding to try to put this into effect over the holidays. I used to go water walk. I have a terrible knee. But, I have gotten some new tattoos lately and you can't submerge them for a while.

Tava Baird: I don't like the treadmill because, I failed on it so many times. So, my first day, my increment was Just Stand on the treadmill and then [00:29:00] I got up there and that felt stupid. So I actually walked for five minutes and then the next day I did 10 and now you can see me.

Tava Baird: I'm already going from zero to 10 minutes, right? That's a little bit too much, but what I decided to do was I put on a pedometer. Ordering the pedometer was a small increment. And I recorded my mileage for three days and divided it by three to get an average. And my goal is not to immediately hit 8, 000 steps, but to simply be slightly higher than the number of the day before tiny, tiny little things.

Tava Baird: He saysthat is how. long term change happens. So before I go on to no goals, Jen, I'd love to know what you think of that or if you've had any experience in that area. 

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah, I think that makes so much sense. I think that's really, really huge and they add that idea of just 1 percent [00:30:00] better because even when I think about increments, I wouldn't have gone to 1%.

Jennifer Taylor: I would have been like, okay, so we'll do maybe 20 percent if I'm really going to keep it low kind of thing. So I think I really love the idea of the tiny, tiny bit. And one of the things that really, Sparked something in me when you were talking about the ice cube and how, there's this long period of time when you don't see the change happening yet.

Jennifer Taylor: I know there are a lot of people that talk about in the kind of energetic sense that's the case. that when we are, things are changing and shifting and. And the idea of, I know I talk a lot about this with you and Marcos and in conversations about the shamanic principle of dreaming the world into being and that our thoughts and the energy that we put out there is making a difference.

Jennifer Taylor: we may be doing it by default. we are [00:31:00] all dreaming our world into existence. We are all. Creating our reality. It's just that most of us are doing it by default and not recognizing the power that we have in it. And what tends to happen is that, you know, when we start recognizing our creative power and that we have the ability genuinely to shift our perspective and our reality, our actual see it, feel it, taste it, touch it kind of reality.

Jennifer Taylor: so we start doing it more consciously, there's this period of that as well, too, where it's like, okay, I am focusing on higher vibration thoughts. I am letting go of, I'm getting a little bit better and a little bit better at going, no, I'm going to sit down Facebook and I'm going to just breathe for a few minutes, or I'm just going to sing for a few minutes, or maybe I'm just going to, three times, and then I'll do, then I'll see what I feel like doing next.

Jennifer Taylor: We start building momentum, but that momentum is often, it's being built [00:32:00] in the unseen realms and the energetic realms. We may be getting, I know Abraham Hicks talks about this a lot, where it's like you, you get to this tipping point and often people get just, if you could see from the perspective of, Samael or, these, beings who have the vision of seeing everything that's happening in the unseen world and the unseen realms and, the spiritual realms, energetic realms, And can see what we see in this physically manifested version.

Jennifer Taylor: It's like you're building so you're like almost there. It's like planting a seed. And then you look at the ground and it's like, well, nothing's happening. Nothing's happening. Like it's not, and then deciding to abandon the garden the day before the sprout was just about to poke through the surface.

Jennifer Taylor: when we reach that point, it's so many of us, we are really making genuine progress in the [00:33:00] evolution of our souls and our spirits and the manifestation of the things that we want to bring through in our lives, but we stop before that. Just at like the cusp, like just before things were going to break through and we were going to start really seeing the results and the effects of it and it makes so much sense.

Jennifer Taylor: I love that. That was what I just kept, I kept thinking when you were talking about, the ice cube or, you go to the gym and for a week and then go, Oh, look, I don't look any different. It's all. it's all cumulative. And then there does seem to be this point where all of a sudden you go, Oh my gosh, look at what I just did.

Jennifer Taylor: Look at the progress. But it's, it is, it's so gradual.

Tava Baird: especially, in the area of say, like losing weight. Okay. I'm not talking about losing weight to like body shame, anybody or anything. I personally need to lose weight for my health. I have a heart issue that I was born with.

Tava Baird: And I tend to have these episodes. It's not life threatening, it's such a drag and it doesn't feel good when it [00:34:00] happens. I'm noticing when I am able to be at a lower weight, that does not happen nearly as often. I can look at a calendar and say, when I'm taking care of myself, when my stress is lower, when I'm eating better, when I'm getting enough sleep, when my weight is on the way down.

Tava Baird: I, from the data, I have less of these horrible health issues to deal with that impact the way that I go through the day. that's one of the reasons why, losing weight is always on my list. Um, next thing that he talks about is goals. And we always start off the new year, at least I do.

Tava Baird: My goal is to do X. my goal is to be able to water ski, or my goal is to be able to do these things. And he came back, he said, instead of goals, we need to look at systems. Goals don't. often work. And he said, here's why. He said, if you think about the Olympics, Every single [00:35:00] person who shows up at the Olympics to compete has the exact same goal.

Tava Baird: I want to win a gold medal. Nobody shows up at the Olympics and says, man, I really want to come in 12th, right? Everybody is there. They trained and they worked hard and they spent their money and they did all of these things to win a gold How many people. Can win a gold medal in each category, there's going to be one, which means everyone else, no matter, even though they'rean incredible athlete, they're an Olympic qualifying athlete has failed to meet their goal, right?

Tava Baird: And in our brains, when we have this or concept, and I know we've talked about or before on this podcast. I either won or I failed and when you set [00:36:00] goals and can't meet them you are disregarding all of the progress, you're not celebrating all of the things that made you win a bronze or made you come in 12th.

Tava Baird: Man, if I even get to look at an Olympic athlete, like that's a huge achievement for me. Can you imagine being one? So he talks about. Setting these goals as being self defeating, they automatically put you in a frame of mind where you're worried about failure, where you might think of yourself as a failure.

Tava Baird: He also talks about that goals are finite. He says, imagine that, he said, there's so many people who say, I want to run a marathon and the marathon is the goal. And then once they run the marathon, they're like, okay, I met the goal and they stopped training. And they just, they don't run anymore, they are not exercising anymore.

Tava Baird: they saw the goal, they met it, it's done, it's in the past. He says instead, [00:37:00] we need to think in terms of systems. Your goal is not to run a marathon, your goal is to become a runner, right? Your goal is to achieve better health. Your goal is to reach out, farther into your community. I apologize because I can't remember who said it, but there was someone, and I believe he is an Olympic trainer, and he said the golds take care of themselves.

Tava Baird: But if you instead look at your systems and where you want to simply perform better, and maintaining that performance, that's the overarching path that you're on instead of that finite goal where you win or you lose. You are setting yourself up for much more success because continuing that [00:38:00] 1 percent to improve the systems that you use in your daily life will continue even after the event is over and you'll be focused on these systems.

Tava Baird: Wow, I might not have won the race, but I am so much healthier was when I started and everything around me is running better. He said he talked about the fact that habits are, they're basically learned responses to take shortcuts in your environment. He talked about this scientist who did work with cats who wanted to do something with learning and he would put cat in a box and there were lots of ways out of the box.

Tava Baird: There were little levers, there was a little string you could pull, and outside the box the cat could see a dish of food. And he would put the cat in the box and the cat would immediately start exploring the box and then eventually it would trip something that would open the door and the cat could run over and eat the food.[00:39:00] 

Tava Baird: And he did this over and over and over and over and he logged the results. And what he found was that the first time any cat was put into box took the cat about a minute and a half to find a way out. and find its reward. But the more times you put the cat into the box, the more the time started to go down to the point where it would take about six seconds for the cat who had now learned what it needed to do to get out of the box, to trip the lever and go find the food.

Tava Baird: And he said, this is what habits are. There is something in your past that said to you, most of your brain power is needed. to figure out complex things that you haven't experienced before. Let's automate the stuff that you already know how to do to reach a reward faster. And [00:40:00] that is what a habit is. So your brain wants to feel good.

Tava Baird: Right? it wants to find the reward. We are constantly as humans scanning the environment for rewards. Where am I going to get praise? Where am I going to get a treat? When am I going to get a break? When am I going to have some me time? And over time we built this series of, habits that we didn't have to think about in order to get a reward.

Tava Baird: these become our habits. Now what happens over time is, maybe the reward isn't really a reward anymore, right? Me going, oh man, I'm so stressed, cookie, cookie's a reward, what can I do to quickly get the cookie? Okay, what I needed to do to get the cookie was different when I was a child than what it is when I'm an adult and I have unfettered access [00:41:00] to cookies.

Tava Baird: So, he talks about thinking of habits as these sort of conditioned quick shortcuts that our brain has set up over time so that we can spend more of our brain power dealing with new things. And so we don't think about them. We just do them. And so part of this book is talking about what exactly a habit is.

Tava Baird: And seeing that it's actually something we set up at one point to benefit us, now it might not be serving us anymore. And that the way to change that is not simply to set a goal and motor through it, but instead to look at the systems around us that we can improve a little at a time and move forward from there.

Tava Baird: So I would love to hear your thoughts on this stuff. 

Jennifer Taylor: I really like that. I was like, [00:42:00] I have to get this book. And I believe that this is the same book that my other really good friend, Austin is always has been telling me. And I'm pretty confident when you said you were 

Jennifer Taylor: reading this book about, habits I thought, I bet I know exactly what that is because my friend Austin has been telling me, you have to get this book, you have to get this book. So I am super excited to get this book and start, 

Jennifer Taylor: I really like the idea of the not goals thing or like having a different, broader kind of goal. And I found that I've worked and wrestled with that for a number of years because in a lot of the, things where they're talking about, manifesting things in your life and whatever, they say you need to have a really clear goal, like know every sort of aspect of it, of what it is that you want to, achieve, whether it's, see the house that you want to live in or see [00:43:00] your ideal job or whatever that is.

Jennifer Taylor: And My struggle with that has been like in Reiki sessions, for example, or any kind of healing session or even ceremony, the idea is you havea goal, somebody may come and be saying, I have cancer and I want to, heal and I want to get better.

Jennifer Taylor: a lot of times within those kinds of things, there may be, but I really don't want to, I really don't want to lose my hair. I really want to keep my hair through all of the treatments and stuff, which is a perfectly reasonable thing to want. but anytime we start putting restrictions around it, around the idea of this is how it needs to go.

Jennifer Taylor: This is what it needs to look like. We limit the amount of healing and the possibility and the transformation that can come through and there's an incredible story that Laurel Shanti Gaya tells in her book about Karuna Reiki of somebody who had come to her with exactly that saying, I have [00:44:00] cancer and she had worked with her, um, I think through actually a past cancer diagnosis and she had gone come through it and she'd done really well And she was like, I just I don't want to lose my hair.

Jennifer Taylor: Will you please just put out there as the request to the guys and the goal for this session, to bring through healing for me during these these Treatments but that I not lose my hair and it seemed like a very sort of thing to say. It's like, sure, and I think a lot of people would have been very, been inclined to say, sure, we'll put that in there.

Jennifer Taylor: We'll ask that that not happen. And instead, Laurel Shanti Gaya said, It's really not in our best interest to limit the healing, to limit and put parameters on. This is what it needs to look like. And, I know that that sounds like the best thing, but we don't have the full picture.

Jennifer Taylor: We don't know what the highest good really is. And it's really important for the highest, possible amount of healing and good for you. We need to remain open. And what [00:45:00] ended up happening was she did go through the treatment. She did lose her hair. And someone had referred her to this wig maker who was apparently amazing and worked with, lots and lots of cancer patients.

Jennifer Taylor: as she was getting fitted for this wig and picking out this wig, she was talking to the woman about the type of cancer she had. And she said, Oh my goodness, I know someone who participated in this like trial and again, If you've read this book, do not hold me to the details, like Tava was saying.

Jennifer Taylor: but the gist of it's what we're going for. it was like, I know of, this treatment for this exact type of cancer that was a very rare, kind of thing And so she shifted gears and went to see that person and was completely healed of it. Like they had the new treatment 

Jennifer Taylor: She was completely. healed of it. And if she hadn't lost her hair, she never would have gone to the wig maker who had that connection of exactly the thing. And so [00:46:00] that's the kind of way that I tend to look at my big goals for the future, making a vision board and putting all those things out there while I know it's really important for us to, dream our future.

Jennifer Taylor: There's always that part of me that's like, I don't want to limit it. I don't want to decide it has to be this or that. Okay. Or, to miss a massive opportunity for transformation by thinking that I know what's in my highest good. And I think that the idea of not having a specific goal, and I've gotten to where people are like, what are your goals for your business?

Jennifer Taylor: What are your goals for things? You're not going to like this if you're somebody who's very goal oriented, but my goal is just to do. the highest good to bring through, the highest good that I can, the most healing and light and information for those that are in alignment with receiving it.

Jennifer Taylor: So I like the idea of setting goals that are more, about who you want to be and how you want [00:47:00] to be in your life as opposed to what that's going to look like in a specific way.

Jennifer Taylor: I want to be more of my authentic self. I want to live more in my knowledge of my divinity and share that and keep that as a much broader thing than limiting it to I want to lose five pounds or I want to, be recognized as the, greatest this, that, or the other in my field or, whatever those things are.

Tava Baird: You are going to love the next part then. All right. Before I get into it, I was sitting here laughing when you were talking about . being very attached to Hair I think I've mentioned this on the podcast before, but in case you didn't hear the episode, and I don't know which one it is where I mentioned this, I had a brain tumor back in 2000.

Tava Baird: And I remember because they were going to have to shave my head to do surgery. And they said, you can either shave your whole head ortry to keep the hair in [00:48:00] the back. And because I was attached to the idea of not losing all my hair, I said, yes, do the front.

Tava Baird: I had ideas and I was sticking to them. Okay. So when you go in for brain surgery, they dip basically your whole head in this yellow. sticky antiseptics, They did not tell me this before they did it, probably because I had other things on my mind, like I was going blind at the time, right?

Tava Baird: But I come out of the surgery and now I'm in the hospital for weeks and weeks and the hair that I have left is basically encased in this yellow, nasty, sticky, sticky, sticky sticky stuff that was, and it was an antiseptic so that I didn't have, you know, end up with germs in my brain while they were doing surgery and die from it.

Tava Baird: So it was 100 percent necessary. But I spent weeks in the hospital with this nasty mess on the back [00:49:00] of my head. And then my brain surgeon, I said, Oh, God, like, we take a comb and comb it out. And he said, I don't want you to wash your head for another month. Oh! And it was, like, I remember, you know, Trying to get the stuff out, but I wasn't allowed to put my head in a tub of water because of all the sutures and everything.

Tava Baird: And even worse, my rest of my hair started growing out around the scar and I had The worst mullet you haven't ever seen on an individual, okay? So I, I look like, I mean, it was, I know a lot of people dig mullets, but this was not business and front party in the back. This was just tragic, okay? and I remember, I mean, I will remember till my dying day the relief on the day when I was found.

Tava Baird: finally allowed to get in a shower and shampoo my hair. And apparently this was something, I mean, my brain [00:50:00] surgeon was brilliant and, saved my vision and everything else. But I remember talking to other people who had brain surgery after that, and they were like, my surgeon didn't make me not wash my head for a month.

Tava Baird: And I'm like, Oh God, it was like almost two months where I just couldn't get the antiseptic out of my hair. So here's the thing. If I had not decided that things had to be one way, we could have just shaped the whole thing in the beginning and that wouldn't have happened. So, you know, just stay open people to possibilities that, you might not have thought of before.

Tava Baird: Sometimes the thing that you think sounds bad is actually the lesser bad of the two or choices. thank you so much for listening to part one . We will have part two for you next week in which Samael and Jen and start composing music together while I sit there and eat Doritos.

Jennifer Taylor: And by the way, the only way that we are able to compose music together [00:51:00] is because you are not eating Doritos. You are sitting there and channeling a seraphim and writing feverishly 

Jennifer Taylor: To get all of this information so that it can come through. You have a very important part in this.

Tava Baird: Thank you so much everybody for listening. We hope you have a wonderful week and we can't wait to get together with you again.