Sacred Texts and Haunted Dolls: Part 1

In Part 1 of this podcast episode, hosts Tava Baird and Jennifer Taylor discuss various topics, including reflections on Jennifer's solo episode and upcoming events like Reiki classes, magical gatherings, and bone casting workshops. The main discussions focus on Tava's encounter with sacred texts at a thrift store, leading to thoughts on reclaiming, transforming, and honoring old energies. Tava shares her experiences with finding and repurposing porcelain dolls, integrating them into her spiritual practice. They explore themes of reclamation and transformation in both tangible objects and personal stories, inspired by messages from Tava’s spiritual guide, Samuel, and Jennifer's invocation of Mary Magdalene. The episode concludes with a reflection on the redemptive process and a beautiful, heartfelt song.

Thank you joining us today, remember to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to keep up to date with your tribe.

Connect with your Hosts!

Tava Baird: tavabaird.com or https://darkflowerbooks.etsy.com.

Jennifer Taylor: Amnivara (previously Willow Ridge Reiki and Healing Arts) https://www.Amnivara.com/

Transcript

Jennifer Taylor (2): [00:00:00]

 Good morning, Tava Baird. 

Tava Baird (2): Good morning, Jennifer Taylor. It's good to be back. Thanks for holding down the fort while I was out sick Guys, if you haven't listened to the last episode, hey, don't do it while driving, but there is this beautiful holding of place in it, and I listened to it when I was sick and just bask in the silence, which we don't get enough of at this climb of year, is.

 I just loved it. But now it's good to be back to make some noise with you. 

Jennifer Taylor: Yes. I was so relieved. I sent her a text and was like, so, um, you may never let me do a solo podcast again, because, um, a lot of it is silence, but it's held silence.

And, I was very clearly told by Michael to, do it exactly that way. And I was like, I know it's not me, because there's no way [00:01:00] I would've planned a podcast that was largely me just sitting in silence and holding things and speaking. So yeah, that was really interesting. 

Tava Baird: My gosh.

Well, thank you so much for doing it and for creating such a beautiful. Experience as well. 

Jennifer Taylor: Oh, my pleasure. And one thing we realized, prior to this when we were talking you know how very early on in our episodes we have a tava explains which witch is which episode will we also need to do a quick witch, Jennifer is which, because we realized that we're getting you guys really, really confused.

So there are a number of Jennifers, as you know, like Teva's, always talking about how many different Jennifers she's has in her life. And because we now tend to physically show up at events with her, sometimes both of us, sometimes just one. We're making things really [00:02:00] confusing for you. So very quickly there is Jennifer Taylor, which is me, who does the podcast, does Omni Vara.

Um, the channeled singing, teaches reiki classes, all kinds of teachings in that regard. And then there's Jennifer Gerland. And if you see us in person, I have dreads like, Tava, but I have like colorful dreads. Like I have all sorts of, different colored yarns and stuff in my hair. So I'm very obvious when you see me in person.

So I have colorful dreads. I'm the one that does the podcast. Then we have Jennifer Gerland who has dark hair, not dreads. She is the one who is the poet and death worker, and grief counselor, and has also probably helped you guys with bone readings, depending on where you've been. 

Tava Baird: Then there's also, because I know she also gets [00:03:00] emails for the wrong Jennifer, there's also Jennifer Raow, who is a dear friend of ours based, uh, out of this area. So you probably haven't seen her in person, but we talked about her early on in the podcast, and she does a lot of coaching and counseling and things.

So what's happening that's really funny, is sometimes I will be at an event and Jennifer Gerland is there with me. But she is passing out podcast cards or omni var cards for Jennifer Taylor, who is not the event, and everybody thinks that she is then Jennifer Taylor, and she's been getting requests to come on the podcast when she is in fact not the podcast person.

So I am just so lucky that I am surrounded by so many wonder wonderful Jennifers in my life. there's like another four, but I don't think you guys have encountered [00:04:00] them yet. they're all lovely, lovely dear goddesses.

So, 

Jennifer Taylor: and we all completely get that being Jennifer's and being Jennifer's specifically related to Tava is very confusing. So do not be mortified or have any sort of, issue if you have confused us in the past or if you confuse us in the future. It is not a problem whatsoever. But I thought it might be helpful to just do a little bit of a brief explanation of the two.

Or three actually. 

Tava Baird: Exactly. Yeah. how lovely that we now have a big enough community, that people reach out to us so often and want to connect. It's, really a gorgeous thing. we wanna thank all of you for your support of this podcast and all of the events that we do and, coming up to me at markets and retreats and,telling me how much you like listening and asking me to that on to Jen.

It's, really wonderful and we're so [00:05:00] excited that, we can bring a little bit of happiness to your day. 

Jennifer Taylor: It is, it is really, really awesome. and always feel free to come up to any of the Jennifers and just be like, which one are you? Which Jennifer 

Tava Baird: are you? And we'll help you sort it out.

Jen, before we get into singing, I do have a couple of quick announcements. I don't know if you have any, that you wanna share about maybe what's going on in your January after the new year? 

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah. so I have a Reiki masterclass that is coming up and because it is a longer class and a bigger class, I don't offer it very many times, sometimes only once a year.

So. In, January, if you are, if you already have Reiki one and two, of really pretty much any Reiki lineage, as long as it's one that involves the reiki symbol, the UI symbols, then you could, uh, still sign up and join us. It starts January 10th and, [00:06:00] I have it set up in a format to where it's once a week on Saturday mornings for four hours.

So it's four hours a week for six weeks. And that allows you to take in the energy, take in the information, work with it for a whole week, and then come back and have additional questions. And so it's gonna be a really, really great class. Or anybody who really wants to just bring your reiki. To the next level.

It enhances and expands the amount of energy that you can bring through. There are additional symbols which, have additional energies that you can use with them, one of which is a symbol that I use absolutely every time I activate my reiki and is really transformative. And then also at the end of this, you are able to pass on the gift of Reiki to others.

So I know initially, like I took the class partially, but I'd had no intention of teaching, but I wanted to be able to pass it on to my family and have them be able to have reiki and we couldn't [00:07:00] afford for any more than one of us to do reiki master. it is a really good way of being able to spread the gift of Reiki.

 but regardless, even if you never plan on, teaching classes formally or doing anything like that or seeing clients, it's a really good tool to help to transform your own life, your own experiences, and you can use all of the energies on yourself and your life and your family.

So I highly recommend it, and you can, sign up@omnivara.com, A-M-N-I-V-A-R a.com. it starts January 10th. 

Tava Baird: Awesome. Uh, I've got you. Remember how I said I was taking January off to write? Well, I kind of am on weekdays, um, but on weekends there's lots going on, folks. Uh, first off, the Dark Flower Collective, which is a social and learning group for pagans of all stripes that I coordinate out of the blue ball in, we just had [00:08:00] our holiday cookie exchange and it was a hoot.

 we are meeting again at the end of January at the Blue Ball in, in Clearbrook, Virginia, and. For this one, I'm actually rolling out, a little bit of Li Lithian magic, and we are going to talk about something we've talked about here on the podcast before clearing negative energies from your space. So if you want to come and practice that and do that and hang out with other pagans, that's on the schedule.

 remember the Lilith classes where there were three parts, now there's seven. so the Lilith series is, gearing up and they will be running at the blue ball in, and we also have a couple up at The Simple Life in Frederick, Maryland. They're running all through the winter months. the prerequisite course for the others is called the Four Mirrors.

So if you wanna get Li Lithian philosophy under your belt and an introduction to. The magical system, and the culture of it that [00:09:00] Samuel's been teaching me. It's the one to start with. there is also in Berryville, Virginia, now open a place called the Galaxy of Happy Art. And it is a pagan run gallery.

It's on Church Street and I'm teaching a bone casting class there right after the beginning of the year. So if you are in the area and you'd like to learn bone casting,that would be a great place to come. And then, the Simple Life, which is a absolutely gorgeous metaphysical store up in Frederick, Maryland.

I am hosting their first full moon night to celebrate in bowl. Uh, at the very beginning of February, you can come on in and make St. Bridget's crosses and corn husk dolls with us and learn all about in bulk traditions and, I believe we're gonna get some snacks. So all of these, if you are interested in coming on out and, hanging out with [00:10:00] your community and taking classes, all of them can be found on tava bear.com.

Jennifer Taylor: Very cool. So many awesome, exciting things, and I love that there are so many new, shops and things open and so many great places for people to go and gather and, meet other people and get, tools and supplies and things to enrich our lives and practices. 

Tava Baird: Yes, if you go to the Simple Life, it's owned by Helen.

Helen is super, super sweet and her little tiny, Yorkshire Terrier Max is in there. He will probably bark when you come in and he is absolutely adorable in his tiny little sweater. So, go in and say hi to Max and Helen when you're up there. If you are the type of practitioner that loves herbs and crystals, wait till you get a look at Helen's front room.

Then you would lose your mind in that shop is she has an entire wall of herbs. You'll just, we'll, to take [00:11:00] a field trip, 

Jennifer Taylor: mys mystical musics field trip. And I think, is that where you brought me the cult's foot from? Yes, yes, yes. Because I was in desperate need of cult's foot all of a sudden, um, with working, uh.

With Archangel Gabriel and I was like, I can't find cold foot anywhere and Tavo is nice enough to bring me some. She was like, I'm going to the shop and I know it'll have it. So now I know where it came from. 

Tava Baird: Yeah, I just actually buzzed up there. I made, some Poppets, I took a couple of puppets up there and also I did a custom color way of spirit dice for that store called Aya that is all greens and berry reds and, it's a lot of fun.

So those are rolling around in the front room too. 

Jennifer Taylor: Oh, very cool. I got to see the, colorway dice that you had, custom made for us and oh my gosh, they're gorgeous. She actually just dropped them off at our house last night because [00:12:00] my husband needed them, to give to somebody this morning. And oh my goodness.

They're just beautiful. Thank they're most 

Tava Baird: beautiful gifts that lovely. Somebody texted me this morning and I'm like, wow, that was fast. Oh, wow. Like they went from me to you, to your husband to, to her. Boom, boom, boom, boom. And I already got a text back closing the circle saying that she was really excited, so Oh, nice.

You know who you are out there. We 

Jennifer Taylor: love you. Very cool. Yeah, they were so gorgeous that your packaging of those was just, thank you. Just magical as every, as everything is, so 

Tava Baird: thank you. So one more thing I gotta tell you guys, before Jen sings. A few episodes ago, you heard Jason Mankey talk about the pooping log.

Oh, guess what? My husband and I were gifted from Jennifer Taylor for Yule, our very own pooping log. It has a little face, we call him Elmer's. Got a little hat on a [00:13:00] special little like plaid. What do you call the pooping blanket at the back of the pooping 

Jennifer Taylor: log. I don't know if it has a specific, I don't know if the blanket has a name, but the pooping log is also called a Cotillo.

Yes. Or, or, uh, tal and, uh, or Nadal. Yeah. but yeah, I don't know what the name, I know the hat is a traditional Catalent hat, that the men wear in Catalonia. And, then the special sort of blanket that matches, it's like a, it's red and black, like checkered flannel, little blanket.

So yeah, that's what I was making last week after editing the podcast. 

Tava Baird: Oh my God. It has little legs. It is the funniest thing. And my poor husband, he did not hear Jason's interview. He didn't listen to that episode of the podcast. Jen's like pooping log. I've never seen a look of confusion on a man's face like that one.

He's like, I'm sorry, a what? And so I had to explain, we had to explain to him what a [00:14:00] pooping log was. But yes, it has pride of place at our house and we call him Elmer. 

Jennifer Taylor: Yes. And this is, a picture of ours for anybody who ends up seeing this on. Tavas looks pretty much just like this.

Tava Baird: So cute. 

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah, they are adorable. I tell you, I'm really getting into this whole cotillo thing, for the holidays and our daughter loves it. Loves it. So, Thank you, Jason for introducing us to ts. 

Tava Baird: Yes. We now have cots in our houses, custom cots from Jennifer Taylor. Indeed. All right, let's, let's, uh, continue this holiday cheer and maybe get some music.

What do you think? 

Jennifer Taylor: Alright, let's do it. I'm excited to see what sort of thing comes through. Actually, I'm thinking maybe we should kinda set a little bit of an intention for.[00:15:00] 

All right. I think whew. Uh, Mary Magdalene, um, Ooh. I think wants to come through. Yeah. Wow. Oh my goodness. Oh goodness. I'm like teary trying to even say it. Yeah. I think that's, uh, I think that's who wants to come through given our, the kind of thoughts for it and they, at least the story we were gonna tell, so, okay.

Yeah. Um, I will invite, uh, I, Mary Magdalene to sing through me and Oh my goodness. See what she has to share. 

Tava Baird: Yes. Alright. Like, I was not expecting that if I 

Jennifer Taylor: not cry, I was not either. If I can, uh, not cry through this. Holy moly, that's a lot of energy. 

Tava Baird: Yes. 

Jennifer Taylor: All right, [00:16:00] [00:17:00] [00:18:00] [00:19:00] [00:20:00] [00:21:00] 

Tava Baird: oh my God. I could listen to you sing and play that thing all day long. It's just. Yep. I want a whole monocot, a whole Monocot album. 

Jennifer Taylor: I love that thing. Oh my goodness. I absolutely love it. It's so 

Tava Baird: beautiful. 

Jennifer Taylor: Except for tuning it. It's a lot of strings to tune. Thank you for your patience and tuning it. I did not.

Oh my God. That was gonna 

Tava Baird: come in today. No, it was really beautiful. 

 I I do have notes from Sam here. 

Jennifer Taylor: Oh, of course. looking forward to that. 

Tava Baird: So it says, [00:22:00] reclamation a most powerful magic. I am one who walks the between the edge. I am one who seeks balance, who looks at the words written and spoken, and then through them all stories are true, which means that their creation must be done with care, which what is born on the tongue can create worlds, help others or hinder them, allow formation or destruction.

There are many who give this no thought and use their power to slander for their own gain. What must we do then when those with a pul, sorry. What must we do then when those with a pulpit or platforms names, in order to pick the pockets of the masses? Is there any remedy for those whose names [00:23:00] have been demonized either by ill will or a lack of understanding?

There are things that must be abandoned for your own safety, clean breaks that must be made, we think. But no break is ever truly clean, and so when things have stabilized, we must balance and then reclaim. What is it? You need to go back for your hopes, your heroes, your dead. Abandonment is often our first choice, but it should not be the end in doing this hard work.

We strive for balance. Balance is where we hold our power. Sustained power, unlike the power of those who would seek your trust for their own [00:24:00] gain, this is what the true faithful, see. This is the work of the Magdalene and the work of the day. Reclamation, transformation, fullness.

There's a lot here. 

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot there. 

Tava Baird: And I think the reason he is on this topic today is I had a little Sam Adventure this morning. I was telling this story to Jennifer and I'll tell it again here because I think it will be helpful. So I love a good thrift store, um, 

Jennifer Taylor: as do I.

Weird thrift store junkies. We a good 

Tava Baird: thrift store. the thing is I spend a ridiculous amount of my life, painting things. so I tend to grab my clothes from thrift stores because if I get paint on it, uh, the shirt was seven bucks.

Who cares? Right. Also I [00:25:00] find that using upcycled materials, I find it very gratifying in my work. most all of my puppets are made from, if not 100% recycled materials, very close to it. I often, uh, will pick up vintage items and restore them. so I love a good thrift store. And, there's one near me, blue Ridge Hospice and they do tremendous work in the community.

And I visit them very regularly, but enough regularly that I walk in and the staff all goes Hi Taba on multiple locations. I was in it yesterday looking around and I always wander through the book section this morning I went down to the grocery store and as I'm driving past the thrift store.

Samuel starts going books, books, books, books, books, books, books. Not quite in that cadence, but, you know, and he starts telling me he wants me to go look at the [00:26:00] books. And I said, Samuel, I was in there yesterday. I have a limited amount of time this morning. I need to get to the grocery store. My driveway is a frozen mess.

I'm very preoccupied with whether or not I'm gonna be able to get back up the driveway or whether I'm gonna have to carry the groceries up the hill in the snow. I was in there yesterday and he's books, books, books, books. And I went, okay, fine. So pull in and I go in. And of course it's also the holidays.

And as you come up to the holidays, thrift stores are very decimated. There isn't very much in them. Especially in the economic climate that we find ourselves in now. 

 so I was absolutely certain there was gonna be nothing in there that hadn't been in there yesterday. And I get outta the car and I go in and I walk over to the book section. They have a couple of shelves of vintage books, and there on the [00:27:00] shelf is, I wanna say there's like, maybe like 16 or 17 of them.

14, I don't even remember, is this entire series of little books about the size of hymnals. And they have blue covers and they are worn and. Each one of them has a title on the spine, like the Book of Luke, the book of John,different gospels except that they're a lot than just those writings from the Bible would be.

So I pick one up and open it. And someone has loved these books. There are messages that have, that are, have highlights on them and circled phrases. And as I pick up a second one, I notice there are little notes with biblical quotes stuck in, in places in a very careful handwritten [00:28:00] script. And I'm thinking, what in the world is Samuel doing?

 And he starts talking about sacred texts. About sacred books. And I know that he wants me to teach a Li Lithian class called the Gr War of the Magdalene.

And I realize that there's something about this set of books in front of me that has caught his attention and that I'm supposed to spend time with as I prepare to teach this class. And he starts talking about that these books have been cast away, but that they hold an energy. And he's right. These books were important to someone.

I don't know how they ended up in the thrift store. I don't know if someone passed away or someone you know maybe was going on to a nursing home and their family donated books, or maybe they just didn't need [00:29:00] them anymore. They fell out of importance after clearly being very important in someone's life from a religious standpoint.

And of course, I feel strange because, you know, I'm not a Christian, but you know, Samuel talks about walking between worlds. And if we look at my religious life, I was raised Catholic, so I know what these things are, and he starts telling me that I need to take the books home and that I'm going to change them and I'm going to alter them and I'm going to build upon.

The attention and energy that they were once given and turn them into something new. And I'm like, okay. But it, it made me think of something else. A lot of us who are Pagan grew up in very [00:30:00] restrictive religious, non pagan environments. We were, you know, part of a large church, or our families we're very strict, with a religion that didn't speak to us or that we did not feel included us or saw us.

And I know my first instinct was when I was old enough to be able to move away from that was to. Reject anything that looked like it had anything at all do with Christianity. Um, and what I'm discovering now in my work with Samuel is that sort of in throwing out the baby with the bath bathwater, I overlooked that.

Yes, I am definitely not a Christian. [00:31:00] I, that is not my faith, but that Christianity started off as a faith for women and slaves. It really did. It was a very small, and I hate to say it, but it was a cult. That's what it was at the time, right? It was a little group of people bucking the system in the name of love Jesus' teachings, where about love and.

Even though those teachings over time became changed and corrupted and used by the Holy Roman Empire for political gain in there, in its roots is a beauty. And so the underlying sentiment and beauty, these little books that I was holding in this thrift store were the books of someone who is a seeker like myself.

They went down a different path, but they were a [00:32:00] seeker of love and truth like myself. And so if these books are just going to sit on the shelf there and gather dust, if they have been passed away by someone, I can take that and. I can perhaps make something beautiful out of them again. And so that's what I'm going to attempt to do.

We spend a lot of time assuming that holy writings have to belong to someone greater and more powerful and older than ourselves, but sacred texts and holy writings can come from us as well, and I think that's what the challenge is going to be here, is to take the energy that's still contained in these books, celebrate it, and then add the layers of what I am learning from Samuel over top of them.[00:33:00] 

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah. When you were. Telling me about it. you were saying, that you were supposed to add things, you were take things out and add things to it and blend it in there, and that they had all this energy and it was like, what are we, supposed to do with this kind of thing?

 I was, saying that in that,throwing out the baby with bath water aspect, that in there are also the hopes and the dreams and the excitement and the faith and the idea that these texts would contain something that really meant, that would change the lives of the people that were reading it.

That would mean something that would transform their pain and maybe give them a sense of something beyond what they see. maybe it was someone who still maintained that same faith, or maybe it was somebody who got to a point and got disgusted and decided, this is not for me.

This doesn't [00:34:00] contain the messages that I need. Because in the writings and in the interpretations, and I don't know what the interpretations were of the person who wrote out a lot of additional information from each book in those, it may be that they got to a point where they did realize, this is not speaking to me, this is not it.

Right. And the whole thing got cast out. But it sounds like what Samuel was talking about was that, the reclamation of the energy of that. So it's not necessarily, the messages in there that we want to go back to and say, yeah, actually I really agree with what John said, or whatever it is, but that.

 there is an essence and there are words in there that do contain the original essence of Jesus' message and the disciples, and, apostles and Mary Magdalene. And there's also new things to add to it. But that using the energy of that, I find that really fascinating. That even though [00:35:00] the energy that was built up, maybe in the reading of it isn't necessarily an energy that's in alignment with our understanding of things and wouldn't be things that we would agree with.

That there's an underlying energy there that can be worked with and revived and reshaped and resurrected in a new way that can bring meaning And is different than if you were to just write a completely new text. You know? I mean, yes. Because when you think about it, most of what you do, you're writing things, you're bringing it through, you're creating new books.

And it's really interesting the idea of going back and reshaping and alchemizing these old books and bringing through something new, which is so interesting because I'm realizing just this morning I was talking to you about, all this alchemy and these other forms and things, and that's really kind of what it is too.

It's, taking that and transforming it and transmuting it and using that [00:36:00] energy in a new way. kind of cleaning it up and adding to it and bringing forth something different. 

Tava Baird: I think you're absolutely right. And this reminds me of something else.this is really, uncharted territory for me because, you know, as, uh, pagan, I'm used to, you pick up something with somebody's energy on it, you smoke, cleanse the hack out of it.

You try to get rid of the old energy and then you start fresh. And what he's challenging me to do here is instead sit down with a text that is going to cause emotional response in me. Right. You know, like, I haven't sat down with a gospel since I was in CCD class. And any of you who were Roman Catholic, you remember CCD class.

It's basically Sunday school that you had on a weekday, right? and you were supposed to, go through so many levels of it before you were confirmed and [00:37:00] all of these things, right? And. So he's challenging me to pick up a book that contains writings and information that I probably haven't looked at since I was about 13 years old.

And at the time that I found restricting exclusionary, um, boring, you know, 13. The last thing I wanted to be doing was memorizing a list of the apostles so that I could get confirmed, right? But what he's saying is that there's energy in this book. The fact that it's not just a random book, it's a book that someone highlighted and circled and put notes in.

There's something of their energy in that. It's not the writings itself. It's the attention that was paid. So I'm gonna have to sit down and look at this [00:38:00] book, and I'm gonna have to look at it carefully and decide what are the things that I wish to keep? What are the messages that still deserve to be highlighted?

And to see the light of day. What are the messages that align with the things that Samuel has been teaching me? And what are the things that I decide no, this I will abandon and I will not go back forward at this time. You know? And then what I'm supposed to do with that is turn those parts into something does align with me.

To reclaim it, to make it beautiful, to perhaps paint it or stitch it or block it out perhaps to go down a page and take out the words that I don't like to leave behind a message, that I do like to recover it with my own art and [00:39:00] to figure out how to align with it. he wants me to add the things that he's teaching me now, which is Li Lithian Magic, which seems like that would be the last book you would wanna stick it in, is something that's loaded with, stuff about the apostles.

But I think, Samuel's talking about there is a magic and reclamation anybody who's ever lived in an old house. Can tell you that there's a difference between moving into a brand new house that's been built that nobody's ever been in before, energetically, and a house that's been around for a hundred years.

It's creaky in places. It's falling apart in others. Uh, hopefully you weren't putting your foot through the floor, but it's got a history to it and a lot of times it comes with ghosts. And one of the things that he's basically challenging me to do with these books is to move into them as though I were in an old house and make [00:40:00] friends with the ghosts and decide who gets to stay and who might need to be encouraged to move on elsewhere.

To set up shop within this reclaimed space to add my own paint and my own carpet and my own holy spaces, but to still recognize its history. And the beautiful things that may have happened there. So this is a big deal, not to just go, I abandoned this and I move on. I smoke, cleanse this and everything, get out.

But instead to look at integration as a way of finding balance with your own history. 

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah. several things have occurred to me during this one that he's asking you to do with that book. What he's asking all of us to do with our own lives and our own stories within ourselves. he keeps [00:41:00] saying, just like when we were talking about the Angel of Eraser, you know, we can't just erase the things that have happened to us.

We can't just get rid of them and make them as though they never happened. Instead, we are to. Take them in and love them and reshape them into a form that we can live with or to integrate them. And that's a lot of what we're talking about doing with these books of what he's talking about having you do.

And with regards to the all stories are true, it takes us all the way back to our original fertile ground gathering power of story of which of our own, if we think of all the stories that we have told, all the stories that we have lived, and then the ways that we have chosen to tell our stories.

That as all a pile of sacred text, it's [00:42:00] all, it's our book. And so we look at that and go, which stories? Are we tired of telling which stories are continuing to uphold and create a world that's not a world I wanna live in. That's not a world that I want to keep active. It's not a story I want to keep living, but I keep living it because I keep telling it and I keep telling it with intensity and belief and strength, and how can we go back and, in our own sacred text and go, these are the ones that we need to cut out.

These are the ones that we need to say, I'm taking this out and I'm replacing it and I'm honoring that it happened. And I was realizing the other day, I was like, there's certain stories that I hear between you and I, I hear us telling about our past and about the things that have happened that, and this has hit me really strongly in the last month where I'm like, we've got to stop telling these [00:43:00] stories.

Because yes, they're true. They happened, but they What if we rewrote them in a new way? We rewrote them in the sense that, we came out of it stronger and we learned amazing things on the, on this path and where we are grateful to the people that brought us the pain and the difficult, hard lessons and what if we, we reshaped them and we rewrote them into a story that was also true and left behind the need to tell the story that left us as a victim.

And I think I've found it, it's really hard, and this is something that I realized I've struggled with for a long time in the feeling of wanting to feel like when I tell somebody about what has happened to me or what I've experienced. I want to feel, I need to feel like it's true and it's, and I'm being honest.

And [00:44:00] if I'm saying something that doesn't share the level of pain and trauma that I experienced, then it feels like it's not true. And there's some part of me that, while I still really want to tell, I want to tell that new story that has me being the, the victor, the brave person who has consciously reclaimed all of the aspects of it.

But when I tell someone that it's like, but then they don't know the trauma that I went through, then they don't know what actually happened. And, I tend to fight that in my mind of how do I tell this story and have this really feel true? And can I live with that without. The need. Like why do I need to have them know that it was really traumatic for me and maybe I could reshape it and change it to where I no longer feel that [00:45:00] trauma becauseI more line up with the story of the, heroine in instead.

 it's really interesting. I was really hearing all that when you were talking about the book and I was thinking, oh, this is like a physical version He's having you do a physical version of what he's asking us to do. 

Tava Baird: It's also, oh, and you're gonna go crazy when I tell you this.

You're gonna go no. It's reminding me of something else that has happened to me over the last week. So everybody listening knows I love a good pop. I make dolls, Matilda, my puppet goes with me to every single ritual. She goes to classes with me. I run a thriving custom puppet making business.

I love a good doll, a good human form. And, more and more, people are starting to bring dolls to me. You know, I think something's in this doll. [00:46:00] Or this ball ended up at my house and there is something in it that doesn't appear to be that great. and I know we remember me talking about McMillan, which is an entity at the Blue Ball in who, keeps himself in the vicinity of a particular doll.

 so over the last few years, my work with Dolls has become very central to what I do. And now it is the center of a lot of my interactions with people in the Pagan community. So, there've been a couple times because I love thrift stores where I go in and there will be dolls. Seems like somebody cleans out their porcelain doll collection.

Or someone passes on and suddenly you look up and there's 30 big porcelain dolls there, and there's something in one of them when you get that feeling of like, whoa. there's only been one that was ever really [00:47:00] loud enough that I could hear it. it was strong where it was like, take me home, take me home.

And I was literally thinking about, I'm just gonna take it home. And then I was like, way, way, way, way, way, way. Hang on. I've started this little practice where whenever I do pass by, dolls in thrift stores and I can sense that there's a lot of energy.

Floating around there, whether it's conscious or not, it may simply be residual energy from whoever held them and gave them attention last. And I tend to, as I'm walking by, say, if there's anyone in there, I acknowledge you and I wish you well, and I wish you balance and peace. And because spirits do like to attach themselves to things that look human.

They like to have a little body again for a while. and there've been a couple times where I've stopped and really looked at one or two of them, and Samuel Mayel would say, no, no, [00:48:00] no. And I moved on. So last week. I was going up to, uh, with my husband. We were gonna go to lunch at our favorite restaurant in Frederick, which by the way is called the Orchard.

Oh my gosh, y'all, you gotta go. Um, and we went to the Simple Life and as we left I said, Hey, do you mind if we roll by the Goodwill? Um, I haven't been to the Goodwill in Frederick in years, and I don't know why, but I,really wanna go. And my husband said, sure. He dropped me off 'cause he needed to run over to the hardware store.

And I went in and it was crazy bonkers in there and they changed locations and I went towards the back of the store and I round the corner and. I was going to go look at ribbon because I use a ton of ribbon in my business. And, on the [00:49:00] wall hanging next to all the arts and crafts supplies was a little bag of dollhouse sized dolls that were porcelain.

And one of them ang had her head on backwards. And, there was another one in there that you could only probably describe as creepy. And I immediately knew what I had to do with them. I wasn't just supposed to take them home. I was supposed to take them home and I was supposed to repaint them.

I was supposed to turn them into something else. And I asked Samiah. if the time was right. And he was like, yes. So I grabbed that and then I round the corner and in front of me was an entire, industrialized shelf of feet sticking out. I realized that it was these big doll all just sat in there like logs 

 in case there was energy in them, I ran my [00:50:00] hand over the soles of all these dolls feet, and I said, if there's anyone in there, I wish you balance. I wish you peace. I wish you well. I give you a little bit of my energy. And as I ran my hand over one of the doll's feet, this little doll popped out from between all the big ones into my hand, 99 cents.

And I knew this one coming home. So my poor husband shows up, and By the time he got me out of there, I had about twelve little tiny. What people would say were creepy porcelain dolls. Do I know how to paint porcelain? No. Do I know how to repair dolls? No. But I know I'm supposed to learn. So I take them home and then the very next day I go down to meet Jennifer Gerland.

And on my way back I stopped to pick up my husband up some soup at this restaurant that he loves. Notice my husband has lots of favorite restaurants [00:51:00] and next door was a thrift store. And I went in and there at the front by the register, tons and tons of little tiny porcelain dolls for a dollar eat.

So I walked out of that with another 12 of them and I just sent a photograph to Jennifer Gerland and said, I think I might have a problem. And she wrote back and said, those are creepy as all get out. Yes, you do have a problem. But they came home and I've now probably watched upwards of 30 hours of videos on painting, on porcelain cleaning, all of these different things.

 they'll probably be a creepy doll section on my Etsy store soon. Yes. But what is interesting to me, so these aren't human forms that I made, they already have little human forms and somebody at [00:52:00] some point held that little human form in their hand. most porcelain dolls were really made for adults, but some of them were probably children and they put some love into these little things that now have horrible hair, and their faces are partly scuffed off.

 this is along the same lines. The idea that the magic that Samuel is teaching me, the philosophy and practice of Li Lithian magic, which is what he practices is about taking things which are cast away.

People who are cast away, who others say have no value and, but they still have energy in it and loving them. Into a place of [00:53:00] transformation where they find themselves powerful and useful again. And so what I'm doing when I'm teaching classes on Lilith is the same thing. Let's take the parts of yourself that were demonized.

Let's take the things that people told you were wrong about you or were broken or weren't good enough. Let's bring them out into the light. Let's blow the dust off of them. Let's see what we think about them. were these things actually true or did we sit them down? And then the things that need fresh coat of paint and a new start so that they can go forward and have power and agency again, you know?

That is an incredible form of magic [00:54:00] transformation, he's not just telling me, smoke, cleanse, these things make them pretty, and off they go. The idea is supposed to be that they have a history, they have, an energy in them already. And what I'm supposed to do is not negate it and start clean, but recognize it, honor it, and then balance it with my own energy.

And then from there we can go forward into a new story. there's lots of whole holy buildings in this world. There's temples, there's synagogues, there's churches. I'm starting to get a little worried that my local thrift store. is the new place for the birth of holy relics, but if it is, how wonderful is they're run by charities and so the money goes to good places I'm not just upcycling items.

I'm learning how to [00:55:00] upcycle myself. So, yeah. there's gonna be a lot of creepy little dolls in my future.

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah, it's interesting when I think about it, a lot of the fabric art that I made was upcycled and I spent years making upcycled clothing and things. I love. I absolutely love that concept of taking something and rather than discarding it, repurposing it and finding a new way that it can be relevant and have meaning and.

Return to a new form of beauty and combine with other things, that were originally all separate and how can you combine them too and give them a new life together, is neat 

Tava Baird: too. And I mean, when you think about it as humans, some of our favorite stories, their redemption stories there.

I mean, you even think about, remember when Pretty Woman was big? You know, like Julia Robert's [00:56:00] first big movie. It was someone who was down on her. Luck has this rebirth. But the thing that was wonderful about the story wasn't just that now she had fancy clothes, although there's a delight in that. It was that her history, the authenticity of who she was, survived.

Even into this change. And that her authenticity is what gave her power in the new social circle that she was in, where people had forgotten how to be authentic in order to chase certain look or a certain privilege or how to fit in. It was her authenticity. So I think Samuel seeing an authenticity in these books and an authenticity in these little dolls, and he's challenging me to say, as you work on these [00:57:00] little human forms, let's look at your own human form and the work that needs to be done there.

As you put care into repainting new eyes or making a new garment for a little doll. What things need to be repainted or fashioned? Champion your own divinity. As you look at what was someone else's sacred text, and it's now sitting abandoned in a thrift store, what can it teach you about the things that you wish to write in your own tale and the things that you need to honor and balance from your own story?

So then it then goes out into the world and becomes a sacred text again. I think. I think we've gotta call this episode Creepy Dolls and Sacred Texts or something like that. It'll be, yeah, 

Jennifer Taylor: it feels like it's time to sing again. [00:58:00] I have a whole other direction that I could have am about to take the, the conversation, but I feel like this is probably at least the end of one, um, episode, and so maybe.

We could sing. I was thinking even about having you reread what Sam Miles said at the beginning, just to remind us of what sparked this conversation and then,to sing again and leave people for this week and then head take this in a different direction. 

Tava Baird: I actually am really glad you're having me read it again because when he speaks, sometimes I end up writing up the side of the page or circling something and I'm realizing that I think one of the statements was out of order when I read it last time.

 So now I'll read it in its correct spot 

Jennifer Taylor: I think will make correct. Alright. 

Tava Baird: So here we go. Reclamation a [00:59:00] most powerful magic. I am one who walks the between the edge. I am one who seeks balance, who looks the words written and spoken, and then through them all stories are true, which means that their creation must be done with air. What is born on the tongue can create worlds, help others or hinder them.

Allow formation or destruction. There are many who give this no thought and use their power to slander for their own game. What must we do then when those with a pulpit or platform, th names, in order to pick the pockets of the masses. Is there any remedy for those whose names have been demonized, either by ill will, or a lack of understanding?

Abandonment is often our first [01:00:00] choice. There are things that must be abandoned for your own safety. Clean breaks must be made. We think no break is ever truly clean. And so when things have stabilized, we must balance and then reclaim. What is it that you need to go back for your hopes, your heroes, your dead in doing this hard work?

We strive for balance. Balance is where we hold our power. Sustained power. Unlike the power of those who would seek your trust for their own gain, this is what the true faithful seek. This is the work of the Magdalene, the work of the day, reclamation, transformation, fullness.

Jennifer Taylor: Thank you. Yeah. [01:01:00] Oh,so many things to, Keep unpacking there. I'm thinking I'll sing to help to bring this episode to a close, what would be most supportive and beneficial for people to hear. At the end of all this, 

Tava Baird: well, I love that you called in Mary Magdalene because b is one of those figures who was demonized by history.

You know, how many years did the church call her prostitutewhen in fact she was an apostle and, she left No writings of her own that we know of, but she was instrumental. There would not be a church today if Mary Magdalene had not gone out and spread the teachings of Jesus among women.

There simply wouldn't be. but her name was sullied for years and years, and her [01:02:00] contributions ignored. And so I love that she came through I imagine it's pretty powerful and you were talking about having trouble not crying.

Um, how wonderful to give her a voice. Maybe she has more to say now that we've talked a little bit. I don't know. 

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah. I just, it was ab Absolutely. 

I definitely feel like she is still a really important part of this conversation and is having her own reclamation, starting as well, her name seems to be showing up everywhere for me.

Mm-hmm. And maybe it's just me or others. she's coming up and Sam is telling her, and now we're gonna have a power of story. We have already have it recorded. We just have to get it packaged and out there where people can go on a journey with Mary Magdalene Which I'm really excited for people to be able to get to experience.

And I [01:03:00] realized, I'm pretty sure in that as she was, we were going to her caves. I'm pretty sure I was playing that mono chord again and singing. 

Tava Baird: Oh, you might've been, I'm almost 

Jennifer Taylor: positive. I was, I was drawn to play the mono chord during that part. So there has to be a connection between the sounds of that And, and Mary Magdalene.

Tava Baird: Yep. Um, and she showed up in the Oracle deck too. She's on the card that says, I think it, the card that says you were not born to sin. 

Jennifer Taylor: Yeah, there's definitely probably a lot that Mary Magdalene would like to bring through. So we'll just see what the, see what that is. 

 And I guess I'm gonna see if I need the mono cord again or not. 

Tava Baird: I'm so selfish. I'm sitting here going, do it, do it, do it. [01:04:00] Yeah. 

Jennifer Taylor: That's definitely the easiest thing for me because things come through really clearly. 

Yeah. 

And I remember there's something about, I feel like, like the sand, the sand energy.

There's something about it that feels like there's the very desert, like Middle Eastern kind of feel that I get that like comes through my voice every time I sing with it. 

 we'll see what Mary Magdalene has to say. 

Tava Baird: I'm so excited.

Jennifer Taylor: [01:05:00] Oh,

oh.[01:06:00] 

[01:07:00] Oh.

Tava Baird: [01:08:00] So lovely. Thank you. Absolutely. Thank you. That was lovely. I have a little something from Sam. Just as a doll is a vessel. So too, is your body a vessel for your own soul? Think, um, Shaah, as you look at the fragile and scarred sculpture on the table before you, if your places were reversed, what would you need?

Cleansing consecration. A [01:09:00] rest in a kind place, a retying of the joints. A soft word, a new garment in which to be clothed. Do you need to be held cherished? Put in a place of honor what redemptions are needed after the world condemns you to a box of the unwanted. What prices and scratches must be removed.

When new life is breathed into your soul, what name will you give yourself? 

Jennifer Taylor: Beautiful. Thank you.

Well, 

I 

think with that,we will leave you all until next week where we will continue this conversation. 

Tava Baird: Thank you so much for joining us today. Great to be back, [01:10:00] and we'll see you next time. 

Jennifer Taylor: Much love to all of you.